Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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