Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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