So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
