she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
