If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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