MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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