new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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