I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
