Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
