What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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