You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it's like iHOP with fire
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
