margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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