Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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