my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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