sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Randomize
