No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I have post one night stand depression
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
