i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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