I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
