dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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