My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
