is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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