I have demons in me.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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