hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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