matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
