Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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