i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
