I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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