You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
