you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think I am morally bankrupt
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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