College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
