In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
