I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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