Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
