we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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