I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
