Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
