And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
