HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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