nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did i walk over a car last night?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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