I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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