who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
