no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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