I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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