porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
