I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
