You made me cry and you don't even care
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
