Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
