this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
