In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
