Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
