We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
