She's JV to your varsity
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
