Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
