New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
