She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
