Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
