i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
