I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
