If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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